Kai's Day of Reckoning
by Dark-AmethystUnicorn
Summary: geez! Poor Kai! He moved out of the country; got a new therapist and still he's being tormented! ;; I'm so nice to my Kai-kin!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: Hello! I don't own it! Buh-bye!  
~*~ Change of sceen  
Kai's Day Of Reckoning!  
  
"It was terrifying. Absolutely terrifying!" Kai cried as the therapist scribbled on his pad. Kai looked over his shoulder and read:  
  
Kai's five rules of dating his daughter.  
  
1. Try it and I'll kill you!  
2. If you somehow manage to survive the first attack I'll consent to your presence in the same room as her HOWEVER, lay a hand on her and I WILL kill you!  
3. I'm aware that you idiots are like Tyson and wear your pants below you ass, I have no problem wiht that but show up at my door in that fashion and I'll take a staple gun and staple your pants onto your hip!  
4.Take my daughter to a club or drive in or any dark place and rest assured that both me and the Missus will severely injure, if not, KILL you!  
5. I'll kill you if you look below her chin!  
  
Kai sweatdrops and sits back down on the sofa.  
  
"Mmmhmm! Right, I'm going to show you some pictures and-"  
  
"Not those STUPID papers with black blotches all over them!"  
  
"Right! Now what do you see?" Therapist holds up the stupid piece of paper.  
  
"That you're a lousy artist and-" Kai actually takes a look at the picture. "EWWWWWWWWWW!!! YOU SICK, SICK MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Opps! Wrong paper!" Therapist rams it back into his pocket.  
  
Kai sweatdrops.  
  
"Now..." Holds up the right paper. "What do you see?"  
  
Kai goes pale and ducks behind sofa. "NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! NOT THAT!!!!!!!!!PLEASE ANYTHING BUT THAT EVIL LORD OF THE DEVILS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!FOLD THE PAPER OVER QUICK!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Too Late!  
  
The 'Evil lord of the Devils' pulls himself out of the paper. "Two+two is four, Two+two is four, Two+two is four,"  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Therapist goes pale. "B-barney!" Therapist faints.  
  
"Kai! You've been a naughty boy! Hyuk! You need to sing the Barney song! I love youuuuuuu!! You love meeeee!!"  
  
Kai slams his hands over his heads. "GOD LORD NO!!!!!!! I CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE!!!!!!!! PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"OHHHHHHHHH!! Ummumumum! You said the F word! You're gonna get in trouble! I'm gonna need some friends to help disicpline you and make you a lovely little boy!"  
  
"Tinky Winky!"  
  
"Dispy!"  
  
"Lala!"  
  
"Po!"  
  
"Teletubies, teletubies!" Barney sings.  
  
"AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! NOT THEM!!!! WHY IS GOD PUNISHING ME??!!!!!!" Kai runs around the room.  
  
"Weird boy funny! eh-oh!" Po giggled.  
  
"DEAR GOD, NOT THAT LAUGH NO!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Tyson walks in stuffing his face.  
  
"TYSON HELP!!!!"  
  
Tyson looks up and chokes on his food and dies.  
  
"OH MY GOD THEY KILLED KENNY YOU BASTARDS!!!!!!!!!!!" Kenny yells walking in.  
  
"FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!! YOU ARE KENNY!!!!!!!" Kai yells. "LEMME OUTA HERE!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Kenny looks up and his hair flips out of his eyes. "AAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PINK DINOSAUR!!!!!!!!!!!!! TELETUBIES!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Kenny makes a new door through the wall.  
  
Dispy grabs Kai and ties him to a seat. "Time for T.V eh-oh!"  
  
Po turns on the teletuby T.V.  
  
"Blues clues, blues clues!" Sang the T.V. "Roff roff!"  
  
Kai takes a deep breath and....well you can guess.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!" ~*~  
Kai bolted out of bed.  
  
"Dream just a dream, fucking scary terrifying nightmare from hell dream!" He gasped.  
  
"Ahem!" The goofy voice of Hell cleared it's throat.  
  
Kai turns and sees Barney with the Teletubies and The Blues Clues guys standing there smiling.   
  
"Teletubies!"  
  
"Barney!"  
  
"Blue!"  
  
"Bob!" A weirdo popped out of Kai's wardrobe.  
  
"Kai's people, Kai's people! Say We LOVE YOU!!!"  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Kai faints as they move in closer...........  
  
END!!!!!!!!!  
  
D_AU: *Looks pale* I think that's more of a horror story! B-b-b-b-b-b-b--b-BARNEY!!!! and the evil teletubies! Blues Clues! Me gonna faint now! *Faints*  
  
Ray: *looks at unconscious author* I guess I'll have to tell you to review then! Please Review! *Flashes a smile showing white shiny teeth at readers*  
  
Weirdo hanging over Ray: HE SMILED AT ME!!!!!!! BACK OFF WHORES!!!!!!!!!!!! *Glares at everyone.*  
  
White Tigers, Bladebreakers, All Starz and Majestics: -_-;;;;; Freak! 


	2. chapter 2

Chapter two: New therapists=new nightmare?  
  
After the....er......"incident" that happened at the last therapist's, Kai decided to move out of Japan and move to an isolated small country which had virtually no poisonous animals by the name of New Zealand located near Australia.  
  
Today was a warm crisp late summer saturday afternoon. After hanging at the beach with the All Starz he was heading towards his therapists office.  
  
"B.D. Imagination?" Kai reads off of the door sign. He sweatdrops. "Great..."  
  
Kai opens the door and walks in and is greeted by pale scared secretary.  
  
"Please sit down, he will be with you in a moment." Pale secretary walks out.  
  
Kai can hear pale secretary screaming. And then...........  
  
His worst nightmare returns.  
  
"Two+two is four, Two+two is four, Two+two is four! Hyuk!"   
  
Kai goes white and trembles. "Can't be him! IT can't!!"  
  
Evil lord of the devils opens the door and sits down.  
  
"It IS!" Kai whimpers. "I wanna go back to Japan now!"  
  
"Hello again to all my friends! Kai here is very crazy so we need to teach him to have fun without hurting others!"  
  
"YOU CAN'T BE A THERAPIST!!!!!! MY THERPAIST IS-"  
  
"B.D Imagination?" Barney guesses. "That's me Hyuk! Get it? 'B'arney is a 'D'inoaur from our 'Imagination'...." Gestures to his brainwashed toddler fans. (AND HE DOES BRAINWASH THOSE POOR POOR KIDDIES I TELL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)  
  
Brainwashed kids finish the song. "And when he's tall he's what we call a dinosaur-"  
  
"FUCKWIT!! EVIL LORD OF DEVILS!!! ASSHOLE!!!! CUNT!!!! WHORE!!!!!! FREAK!! BAKAYARO!!!!!!! MOTHER FUCKER!!!!!!!!" Kai rattles off.  
  
Kids start to cry.  
  
"HOW COULD YOU BARNEY??!!!!! MY MOMMY!!! MY MOMMY!!!!!DADDY!!!!!!!!!!!"One obese bald kid runs off screaming for his daddy, no longer feeling he can look at his mother in the same way ever again.......  
  
"Uh-oh!" came a girly voice.  
  
"Dear Kami NO!" Kai closes his eyes and cringes.  
  
"Tinky-winky!"  
  
"Dipsy!"  
  
"La-la!"  
  
"Bob!"  
  
"Teletubies! Teletubies! Say hello! Eh-oh!"  
  
"Shouldn't that be Po not Bob?" Kai eyes hairy, dirty street bum dressed in a pink barbie dress warily.  
  
"Po on strike! He says he no act like widiot no more!" Lala giggled. "Po silly!"  
  
"Po actually very smart for a fat santa claus wannabe!" Kai mutters.  
  
"Kai been naughty, Bob hug Kai! Make him good!" Bob grins evilly. "Bob is actually speaking in third person and pretending to be stupid!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"BOB LIKE KAI!!!! BOB STEAL KAI AND HUG HIM AND SQUEEZE HIM AND NEVER LET HIM GO!!!!!!!!!" Bob launches at Kai.  
  
"DARK_AMETHYST-UNICORN WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS????!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Bob being naughty! Eh-oh!" Tink-winky grabs Bob and walks off with him.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! KAI MY DARLING!!!!! I WILL RETURN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"I hope not!" Kai shudders. So does all powerful authoress! Gay bum and gay teletuby how the hell did they get in my story?  
  
"You're the author you tell us! Hyuk!"  
  
"STOP THAT FUCKING FUCKED-UP LAUGH!!!!!!!!! ALRIGHT BARNEY!!!! I'LL SING THE BARNEY SONG!!!!!!!!!!JUST REMEMBER YOU ASKED FOR IT!!!!!!!!!" Kai grabs a gun from a nearby shelf and hangs Barney on a tree. "I hate you, you hate me! Lets hang barney from a tree! With a shot gun BANG! Barney falls dead, no more mother-fucking dinosaur!" Kai sings as he fills Barney with lead. "WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! I KILLED BARNEY!!!!!! I HAVE FREED THE UNIVERSE FROM THAT TYRANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"What bout us? Eh-oh! You no have song to kill us!" Dipsy says.  
  
"Wanna bet?" Kai thinks for minute. "Tinky-winky, Dipsy, Lala, Bob and Po! Teletubies teleubies go....to.... HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Teletubies! Teletubies! Are going to .....DIE!!!!!!!" Teletubies also die. "I DID IT!!!!! I KILLED THEM ALL!!!!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!"  
  
"What about us? Blues clues! Blues clues!"  
  
Blue bites Kai on the leg.  
  
"ARGH!!!!!!FUCKING MUTT!!!!!!!!!!HEYWAIYTAMINUTEYOUATTACKEDMESOYOUGONNAGETPUTDOWN  
COSIT'STHELAWSOKAIISRESPONSIBLEFORKILLINGBLUE!!!!!!!!HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"  
  
Blue gets put down by local city council.  
  
"BLUE COME BACK!!!!!" Steve (Is that the guy from blues clues name? I dunno.) screams.  
  
Kai pushes him off the edge of a cliff which came from nowhere.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"Steve takes a deep breath."AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Little black angels appear. "Oh I'm free! free falling, now I'm free fallin'. FREE FALLING!!!!"  
  
Kai pants and smiles. "It's over! I'M FREE!!!!!! I SURVIVED D_AU'S TORTURE FIC!!!!!! WHOOOOOOOOOO!!!! EAT THAT SAIYANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Yes Kai, let's just humor him folks! You're stronger than the saiyans Kai!  
  
BYE-DE-BYE!! Please Review! *Kai can be heard crowing in the background!* One minute please! *screen goes black and Kai's screams can be heard*  
  
Ray: *Looks towards black patch* She's not coming back anytime soon is she?  
  
Tala: Well Kai shouldn't crow in the middle of her talking! It's ruuude!! Anyway please review! *Looks scared* If you don't we're trapped here FOREVER!! AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


End file.
